Fear of Falling by S.L. Jennings
My rating: **4.5 scary-beautiful stars**
Review on Goodreads
**4.5 scary-beautiful stars**
Fear of Falling is another story that grips your heart and leaves you all tingly inside.
It's a story about a broken girl Kami, who panickly avoids all, even slightly resembling romantic interactions.
"I would always be a nervous fucking wreck, successfully ruining any hopes of a normal relationship."
Is that a matter of being prude?
Not at all...
Kami, is a runaway with so many ghosts of the past that the saying "counting your blessings" takes a totally new meaning.
And maybe she's quite lost within her insecurities but she's quintessentially feminine *wink*
“Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe.”
" We found out just how awful life could really be. We found out that monsters were, indeed, real. They walked among us. They looked just like you and me. They came in the form of the people that we loved and trusted the most. The people whose only job was to love and protect us.
Funny thing about life is that it never turns out the way you want it to. It’s never fair. It’s harsh and brutal. It kicks you when you’re down. It makes you wish you could give up and part with it just to have a semblance of peace."
What surprised me, was that I kept comparing Kami to another heroine, my personal favourite from In Death series, Eve Dallas, or was it Bianca from In Flight?
Not sure why, probably it's the abused child syndrome part.
"I was just a little girl, completely helpless, useless, and defenseless. I knew fighting would only make Daddy mad. And when he got mad, he hurt me more. Every time Daddy hurt me, Mommy would try to stop him, earning the full brunt of his anger. It was better to just stay still and let him have his fun. It made him happy. Making Daddy happy was what Mommy and I always tried to do. Even if that meant slowly killing ourselves in the process."
But then again, there was Blaine, so deliciously badboy-ish that "even a 90-year old deaf and blind woman would have a raging lady boner for him."
A man, that saw right through her.
"You ever get that feeling in your gut that something is about to happen? Something…big? Life-changing even? Something that would not only rock your world right off its axis but flip it upside down and shake the shit out of it? Yeah, I totally got that about three weeks ago.
I should’ve known the first time she came tearing into the parking lot. The first sign? She had been crying. Not drama queen, full on sobbing, but there were definitely tears. I had been just about to duck back in after a much needed break, when the screech of her tires caught my attention."
Persistent, stuborn and closet romantic
"Well, Kami, I told you before that I wasn’t chasing you. But now…now I am. So it’s better that I know your interest isn’t elsewhere.”"
"But I am very persistent. I never give up on the things I want. This…you and me…it’s inevitable. There’s no use in fighting, Kami. It’s going to happen. And when you are madly in love with me, the only thing you’ll regret is not falling soon"
Totally swoon worthy
"Kami said she couldn’t be saved, but I still needed to save her. She said she was broken, and I desperately wanted to fix her. She claimed she was unlovable, but…shit…
I needed to love her."
"There was that dirty little four-letter word again." - L.O.V.E
"No, this was the Emancipation of Kami Duvall. The once broken girl who had put herself back together. The scared child that survived even when she didn’t have the will to. I kissed that little girl goodbye. I let go of the fear that had been my only friend at times. I didn’t need it anymore. I had love."
"“Don’t worry,” he smiled, pulling me into the hard warmth of his chest. “I’ve got you. I’ll always catch you when you fall.”
And just like that, Blaine had staked his claim on the untouched part of me that no living soul had ever moved. He had captured every fear, every reservation, and crushed them in the palm of his inked hand."
"Then he smiled, emitting warmth and comfort in that simple gesture, telling me that it was ok. That I was safe and he was there to, once again, catch me."
"Because if anyone is worth the risk of falling, it’s him."
"The look of love.
Not everyone gets to experience it. But if you’re ever so fortunate, remember it. Hold onto it and never let it go. Because you’ve been given a gift."
****######****Tongue in the cheek moments***#####****
Kami's roomates made my day, meet Angel and Dom ;)
“Dirty Dom was quite the ladies man, even as a youngster. He was my first piece of peen and, thankfully, my last. Why anyone would want to stick that thing up in them is beyond me. Yuck! I’d rather fuck a frozen hot dog.”"
" It was silly and probably garnered quite a few sideways glances, but it was us. It would always be the three of us—the rejected, the abused, and the damaged. Nothing could penetrate our bond. No one else could fully understand it."
Umm...no, please don't go there
"I chewed my bottom lip, my face flaming like a 12-year old girl with Bieber Fever."
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